Writing is hard. Writing is very hard, even. From the point of coming up with an idea decent enough to grab someone’s attention to doing that final edit, writing has many struggles throughout the process. You have those great moments where you’re filled to the brim with inspiration, where you feel as though you can write for days, and your hands are getting extremely tired from typing faster than a jaguar in a Ferrari, and all of your ideas are just bursting onto the page happy-firework style. Then there are those days when you sit staring at Microsoft Word and questioning whether the ‘I’ you have written and deleted fifteen times can be classed as sufficient progress. Then there are those days where you’re about as inspired as Kermit the frog minus the puppeteer, and you’re also incredibly tired. Today is one of those days. But unlike Kermit I can’t just get someone to put a hand up me to bring my ideas to life. This is a really bad metaphor. I have major regrets over this metaphor.
Currently there are many things going through my head in regards to writing something, anything to make a decent enough blog entry, that people will read and love and ‘wow’ over. (Or that people will just be able to get through without banging their head on their table and wanting to break their computer screens). So here’s a list of the things that go through my head when trying to write through tiredness:
I need a topic. An easy topic. One that will get me to my bed faster than an actor on a mattress advert. I know INSERT ANY OLD TOPIC THAT TIRED BRAIN DOES HERE. That’s great. That’s brilliant, even.
*writes one sentence* No, that won’t work. There’s too much to say, I need longer than this ten minutes to do this justice.
What can I write about in three sentences that people will enjoy reading, and that won’t seem really lazy?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It cannot be done.
But surely people won’t mind a bit of laziness, as long as I post something? Three sentences about how lazy I am never hurt anyone. ‘I am lazy. I am lazy. I am lazy’ would make a brilliant blog entry. Wonderfully unique.
That’s only unique because no one else would ever want to do it. Other people can manage to blog past midnight without snoring into their keyboard between lines. Other people are successful. Come on, be successful, write something brilliant now.
Think of a new topic. A good one. Something that you could write about forever without ever feeling tired.
I know, INSERT GENERIC TOPIC HERE. That is great. This will be easy.
What are words? What are words? What are actual words?
I need a dictionary. My brain has ran out of words. We have no words. We have a problem.
Oh, it’s okay, I’ve got it I can do this.
What are words?
Okay, back to the drawing board. I know, lists. Lists! Lists are easy; people love lists.
I could list something really good like, um, urm, I don’t know, a shopping list?
Nope, definitely not, that one’s been overdone for sure. By every shopper in the whole world. Beans. Eggs. Beans. Beans. It’s not exactly exciting.
I know, I know! Zzzzzzzzzzzz *falls asleep for a second*
Can someone please tell me what words are?
And this is why I should not be allowed to write anything when tired.