Is Christmas stressing you out? Are you convinced that something’s going to go horribly wrong? Do you ever get an overwhelming urge to bin the turkey, throw the Christmas tree outside and fly off to a distant country away from your family?
Yep, me too.
Christmas may be “the most wonderful time of the year” in some ways, but even the most Christmassy among us can find certain aspects of the holidays stressful, annoying and downright awful. I mean, come on, it’s a time of year which involves a combination of present-wrapping, hectic shopping and more family members than you can count – there are bound to be some negative side-effects.
Here’s some advice to help you to have the best Christmas ever… or at least a bearable one!
Buy more wrapping paper than you think you need
Because running to shop at 9pm on Christmas Eve is never going to end successfully.
Remember that you love your family
Even when they’re asking why you’re single, when you’re getting engaged, and how you’ve managed to put on so much weight in just one year.
If in doubt drink more wine
It is Christmas, after all.
Remind yourself that money isn’t everything
Because you’re not going to have any for the next few months.
On Christmas Day, wear something that gives you a bit of extra-room
You’ll feel better about how much you’ve eaten if you can’t feel your belly pressing against your waistband. Plus you’ll have more space to hide the unwanted sprouts.
Ignore the negativity
Especially when your friends come over and say that you haven’t “fluffed up” the Christmas tree properly. So what, Karen! Maybe I want my tree to look like it’s dying a slow and painful death, okay?!
Practise your present face
Yes, Aunty Sara, I did want a unicorn-shaped toilet brush, how did you know?
Always take an extra couple of presents
Because there’s always that one person who buys you something, even though you’ve said less than three words to them in your entire life.
Convince yourself that you’re going to stick to your diet for the whole of January
This will make you feel considerably less guilty when you’re on you’re 8th mince pie, and you’ll also be able to pretend you actually have some kind of life plan for next year when your family ask.
Remember that a new year is only around the corner
So it really doesn’t matter if you’ve drank too much, face-planted the floor and sworn at your Aunty Janice.
Have a very merry Christmas!