Because January’s that time of year where you’re supposed to eat lots of broccoli, spend 14 hours a day on a treadmill and stop spending £3000 a week on fancy coffees, I thought it would be good to make a list of my achievements for the month. As much as I would like to say I’ve joined a gym and can fit into all my old clothes, I can’t, but there’s no point in dwelling on what you haven’t done. So this post will focus on the things I did do in January, no matter how ridiculous.
Yes, some of these are completely and utterly ridiculous. I apologise in advance.
1. Did fifteen minutes of yoga, before getting hideously angry about how slow you have to move, and how much they tell you to “feel the earth” when all you can feel is the biscuit crumbs that are embedded in the carpet.
2. Didn’t yell at Andy for leaving water and beard hair all over the bathroom, even though it looked like an army of ants had decided to have a pool party on the fucking soap.
3. Earned 28 Papa John’s loyalty points for my service to the pizza industry.
4. Read loads of books.
5. Managed to stop myself buying an iPad I really didn’t need (but used the money to buy lots of clothes instead).
6. Finally remembered to sign the contract for the house.
7. Got two fillings and only spent six hours asking Andy whether the adhesive they used was going to kill me.
8. Bought a workout top in the H&M sale, which almost definitely counts as exercise.
9. Sorted out a New Look refund without having to talk to someone on the phone.
10. Didn’t yell at the woman who rings me every two weeks asking how the wedding planning’s going (even though I’m tired of her advertising her hotel so often).
11. Sorted out a Boohoo refund without having to talk to someone on the phone.
12. Started using my Kindle again.
13. Managed to find half the charger for said Kindle.
14. Started re-plotting two of the novels that I’ve been struggling with for a few years.
15. Worked on some short stories.
16. Gave myself lots of time to relax by taking time off from the blog.
17. Barely spent any money at work, even on falafel wrap day.
18. Remembered the engagement party I said I’d organise (but still didn’t organise it).
19. Only cried a little bit when Dobby died in Harry Potter.
20. Managed to hold very heavy, illustrated editions of Harry Potter 1-3 while I read them.
21. Did a workout routine which made me feel like I’d broken both of my knees.
So that’s it. This month I’ve proved myself as an expert pizza-eater, champion book-reader and a person who should never, ever do any sort of exercise ever. Go me!
How was January for you?