At the end of December I made a list of goals for 2019. I sat typing it on my dying Amazon Fire tablet at 2am on an airbed, thinking about all the changes I wanted to make come January. I imagined myself as this amazing, well-put together, actual real adult.
Then my Amazon Fire permanently died and I forgot most of those goals and had to make up some new ones. Ah well, being a perfect adult is overrated anyway.
I’ve made ten goals for this year, because ten is a nice, round number of goals for me to forget I ever made by this time next year. Speaking of forgotten goals, here’s a quick review of how last year’s went…
A Quick Review Of My 2018 Goals
1. Go one one coach journey, one long bus journey and one train journey – no.
2. Write a novel – no.
3. Read at an open mic event – yes.
4. Go a month without spending anything at/on the way to work – yes.
5. Buy less stuff – yes, but I want to do even better this year.
6. Eat less chocolate – yes, but only because I eat more crisps now.
7. Get up earlier – no.
8. Get more confident with driving – no.
9. Get a passport – no.
10. Give myself more time to relax – yes.
Somehow, despite forgetting about most of them, I managed to achieve 50% of the things on my list. Go me!
Like 2018, this year I’m making goals that will make my life better, easier or happier rather than goals which involve me stressing myself out for no reason whatsoever. Let’s get these goals rolling…
My Goals For 2019
1. Keep my house tidy
This is such a boring goal, but I want to make an effort to tidy up before I go to bed every night so that the house always looks nice. I’m tired of having to hide behind the sofa every time someone knocks at the door in case they judge my messy living room. It’s annoying, and there’s literally no way to hold on to your dignity when you’re face down on the carpet like some sort of giant caterpillar.
2. Eat better
This is kind of two goals in one, because I want to eat foods that are better for me and learn how to swallow properly again. Although my swallowing has improved a lot over the last six months, it still takes me ages to eat my meals and I’m still not back onto more difficult foods like rice and salads just yet. Obviously, it’s not 100% controlled by me, as I can’t force my body to do its job, but I’m really hoping to be swallowing properly by the end of the year.
In terms of eating “better”, I want to eat foods that make me feel good, not foods that I think will make me lose weight. Until I stopped being able to swallow, I spent years focusing on trying to be healthy to lose weight, rather than trying to be healthy to sort out my stomach problem or make me feel generally better. So, this year, I want to pinpoint which foods and eating habits cause my stomach problems and acid reflux, so I can feel better, happier and hopefully stop any future swallowing problems from occurring. Not being able to eat put things into perspective and I realised I had my priorities all wrong. Health > weight loss.
3. Be more positive
I made a joke on Twitter about making this my goal because “I’m a negative dick at times” and I’ve actually decided to make it official. I’m not saying I want to float through every day on a rainbow unicorn and smile at strangers, or be consistently cheerful all the time, I’d just like to be less negative about everything. I always think up potential problems before I’ve even tried something, which is pretty terrible for my mental health. This year, I’d like to take my almost empty glass and fill it up a bit more, so I can taste a bit more happiness.*
*Yes, I know that was a weird metaphor, but I spent three hours trying to come up with a decent ending to that sentence and couldn’t think of anything. *skips off to lick all the happiness*
4. Write something on at least 200 days of 2019
A lot of you might know that for the past few years writing a novel has been one of my major goals. Considering how badly this goal has always gone, probably because it’s quite nerve-wracking trying to write an entire book, I’ve decided to shake it up a bit this year. Instead of focusing on writing an entire novel, I just want to make writing a habit, so one day I’ll have the confidence to sit down and write an entire book-length piece. I want to explore different kinds of writing again and enjoy that feeling of getting some words down on paper, instead of just hating myself for not being able to structure a plot properly.
5. Sort this blog out
It probably comes as no surprise, but I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing with this blog. I’m not sure if this resonates with anyone else, but I just don’t want to talk about anything too personal anymore, or feel like I have to list every single thing I’ve been up to. I’m thinking about writing about books and comics and games and such, along with a few personal posts, but I’m not sure whether I’ll be good at it and I don’t know if I can commit enough time to make it worthwhile. That’s why I’m making it a goal to sort it out, so I can make this online space something I’m proud of, not something that causes me to have a massive existential crisis every time I open my dashboard.
6. Make progress with learning Japanese
I started learning bits of Japanese in 2018, and really want to take it more seriously in 2019. I’m not sure whether this will extend to taking any actual classes, but I definitely want to set regular times to learn and have longer “study sessions” in the hope that I’ll be able to say more than ‘I am Japanese’ by the end of the year.
Note: I am not Japanese, I just happen to be able to say that in Japanese. Why am I so terrible at learning languages?
7. Buy less stuff
Ah, the obligatory money-related goal.
My house is a mess. I own too many things that I’ve never used and I’m incredibly good at buying loads of things at once for that temporary endorphin release (or whatever gets released – I don’t know how to science). This year, I only want to make considered purchases, instead of just collecting more things I won’t have time to look at.
I probably said all this last year actually, so sorry if this seems like I’m pretending I’ve just had some major epiphany.
8. Make more of an effort with my appearance
At twenty-six years of age, I’ve come to terms with the fact I’m never going to become the next Kate Moss, but I would like to look more presentable when I leave the house. Because I get up so late, I’m usually rushing out the door with my hair barely brushed and eyeliner smeared across my eyelids, so I’d like to start making more of an effort to look like a professional adult.
Or just someone who owns a hairbrush.
9. Get up earlier
This is the exact same goal I made last year, only this year I’m going to try harder to actually do it…
…Until 6am on Monday morning when I decide I can’t be bothered.
10. Read at more open mics
Last year, I set myself the goal of reading at a poetry/prose open mic night. I did this once, with a friend by my side, but then I stopped going to open mics as much so never got a chance to try and read something by myself. This year, I’d really like to get more confident with reading at events, so I can stop shaking like a whisk after seven cups of coffee and start to actually enjoy sharing my work.
So those are my goals for 2019. I feel like I’ve chosen things I’d really like to achieve this year, rather than things I feel like I should be achieving. I’ve taken “exercising more” off the list because there are other things I’d rather do with my time, and I’ve not added any goals that will cost a lot of money as I’m still prioritising saving for a mortgage. Hopefully, I’ll manage to keep looking at this list and tracking my progress, so I don’t forget about any of these!
What are your goals for 2019?