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2018: Let’s Scream at Doctors and Make it Rain

I think this is Bradford Town Hall, or something like that anyway.

I started this year with a post about how I was going to become a hilarious super-blogger again, and write melodramatic posts about what was going on in my life. Instead, I got all melodramatic in the Ears, Nose and Throat clinic, and screamed a lot in front of a poor doctor just trying to do his job. And the blog writing didn’t really happen.

But oh well, it’s that start of a new year tomorrow, so I can pretend that I wasn’t a complete failure and convince myself that I’m going to achieve everything that I’ve ever wanted to achieve. Go me!

To end this almost blogless year, here are some of the main things that happened in 2018. Enjoy!

1. I forgot how to swallow food

You know that thing we take for granted every day, where we put the pizza into our mouths, chew it, then the magical neck tube sends it down to our stomachs? Well, my magical neck tube stopped playing ball and started playing a weird game of “no you fucking can’t eat this, let’s make you think you’re dying at every meal”.

So, while I didn’t actually forget how to do the swallowing thing, solid food wouldn’t go down properly and I spent a good couple of weeks ready to ring 111 at almost every meal. I constantly felt like I had a ball of air trapped in my throat and eventually it got to the point where I could barely even swallow liquids. And, if I couldn’t pour a can of Pepsi Max down my throat every ten minutes, then what would I do with my day?

To top it off, I managed to convince myself I was dying at work, because my throat felt like it had more bread stuck in it than a Warburton’s factory. Obviously, I was sent home and went straight to the doctors, but I’ve never been so terrified about dying at a bus stop and having my corpse chewed up by seagulls…

There are a lot of seagulls near where I work; I don’t just fantasise about seagulls.

This led to being misdiagnosed with tonsillitis, having heartburn so bad that I had to ring 111, and eventually being referred to an Ears, Nose and Throat specialist who shoved a camera up my nose and down my throat to see what was going on (see opening paragraph regarding the screaming that occurred as a result of said camera-shoving). Luckily it was just scarring from acid reflux that had made my throat smaller, and made it generally more difficult to swallow, so I was put on lanzoprazole and sent to see a speech and language therapist to get my neglected throat muscles working properly again.

I’ve been seeing the therapist since September and, although progress is so much slower than I ever thought it would be, I am finally starting to eat solid meals on a regular basis again. I can’t eat much in one go, and it takes me over an hour to eat a sandwich, but I’m a lot better than I was. Can’t wait till I can throw pizza into my face like I used to!

Note: If you tell your doctor you feel like you have a ball of air trapped in your throat, they will look at you like you said you like to staple dead foxes to your refrigerator and try to resurrect them through the power of interpretive dance.

2. I went to a couple of weddings

I’ve finally hit that age where my friends have started getting married, which means I get to awkwardly navigate making friends with a table full of strangers. It also means I get to eat lots of free food, learn how to floss (the dance, not the tooth thing) and cry as I realise we’re not sixteen anymore.

Seeing friends tie the knot has been emotional, but also a lot of fun. Though, apparently, the more weddings I have to go to, the more I’ll end up hating them, so hopefully I’ll get mine in before my friends start hating weddings so much that they throw rocks at me as I walk down the aisle.

3. I learned how to play roulette

I lost my casino virginity this year, which means I’m obviously now a professional gambler. If struggling to count chips at a table while a croupier laughs at me can be classed as professional…

4. I read lots of books

If you lined up all the books I’d read this year, you’d realise that I don’t have enough space in this house to store any more books and should probably stop buying them before I end up having to fill my fridge with the Brontes. Not that I’m judging you if your fridge is full of Brontes. You do you, hun.

So far, I’ve read 103 books this year, which is more than I’ve ever read any other year of my life. I’ll probably do a post on my favourite ones soon, so watch this space.*

*Or don’t, if you don’t like watching spaces. I’m not in charge of your life.

5. I visited lots of places in the UK

This year I visited Brighton, London, York, Manchester, Southport and lots of other places around the UK, along with lots of places around Leeds and Bradford (near where I live). I’ve really enjoyed seeing more of the UK, and plan to do a few more trips next year.

Plus, I’m saving for a mortgage and staying in the UK is so much cheaper!

6. I got glasses

Up until March, I didn’t realise that seeing everyone over a few metres away as blurry ghost people was a sign that I needed glasses. I’d been getting lots of headaches at work, and reading things at a distance was just a thing I thought people generally couldn’t do. Then, one night at a pub, I tried my friend’s glasses on and saw the world in magical high definition. Well, I saw the pub in magical high definition, but you get the picture.

After that, I made myself an appointment at the opticians, and now I only see blurry ghost people when I forget to take my glasses to work. Everyone loves a happy ending…


So that’s a brief summary of what happened over the past year. I will hopefully be posting a bit more in 2019, but the things I post about may be changing slightly, and I am planning to go through my old posts to get rid of anything I don’t want on here anymore. I’ll be explaining more about this when I write my 2019 goals, so keep an eye out for that.

For now though, Happy New Year!

14 thoughts on “2018: Let’s Scream at Doctors and Make it Rain

  1. Wow! How scary to feel like you have a ball of air stuck in your throat 🙁 I have only ever had this feeling with a really bad cold but it’s not fun, I can’t imagine all the time. I hope that with the medication and therapy things will continue to get better.

    I’m impressed with the number of books you’ve read this year! I love to read and have been trying to read an hour a day but it’s hard to do between work and everyday life! Congrats on reading so much!

    I’ve had glasses for a few years but it was the same thing. When friends and family and other acquaintances started accusing me of ignoring them when I walked by them in a store I decided it was about time to get my eyes checked. If I hadn’t I might not have been diagnosed with Diabetes when I did. I learned a hard lesson.

  2. Wow, that’s scary about what happened to your throat. I’m glad they eventually figured out what was wrong and that the therapy has been helping. I hope it’ll return to normal soon! I’d hate it if I couldn’t eat normally!

    I remember that period when I felt like I was frequently going to weddings. Now my friends are at the having kids age, so I don’t go to as many anymore, haha. However, I still don’t hate weddings! I wouldn’t worry about that!

    Wow, 103 books is a lot! That’s also great that you visited so many places. I really should try to do the same and visit more places closer to me.

    The part about glasses reminds me of a former coworker, haha. When he finally got glasses, he was like, wait… you mean people normally see this clearly all the time?? I’m amazed at people who don’t need glasses until later in life though. I’ve had glasses since I was a little kid!

    I hope you have a great 2019! Happy new year!

  3. Oh my gosh. The swallowing part sounds scary. Glad that you got better now!

    My friends are also getting married and I was a bridesmaid for one of my friends’ wedding too.

  4. I’m sorry about your throat. I had laryngitis nearly ten years ago now and it took so long to get a diagnosis. The camera up your nose is horrid, I remember it well! I’m glad you’re on the road to recovery now, my speech and language therapist was very calming.

    Ha, I love how you describe your vision as seeing blurry ghost people. That’s exactly how it feels when I don’t wear my glasses, my vision is terrible when I forget them.

    Considering I’m 30(!) now, I haven’t been to a lot of weddings. But I did get to go to my cousins last year and my younger sister is getting married this year! I’m not a big fan of weddings lol, talking to strangers at the table. Ick. What’s flossing? The dance part obviously, I know the teeth one. 😉

  5. I’m sorry to hear you had to go through some pretty scary health issues. But I’m glad you are on the road to recovery. Over the last few weeks I’ve reached the stage of pregnancy where it’s hard to breath. I woke up one night trying to catch my breath and coughing which was scary.

    I remember when the world was blurry. I originally got glasses when I was in university (2003-2004ish) because I started having trouble being able to see the board. But I only wore them when I was in class. Fast forward to 2015 when I bought my car, I now wear them pretty much all the time. It’s a condition on my license that I’m not allowed to drive without glasses so I just pretty much wear them whenever I leave the house. I kind of got tired of squinting all the time so I could see if the person coming towards me was someone I knew or not.

  6. Oh no, I am sorry to hear that you were misdiagnosed – all of the unnecessary treatments for nothing -___-. At least you got to get things going and glad you’re feeling better now than ever. I started to get shocked to see how many weddings amongst my peers happened last year. Is this what growing up is actually all about? It’s great that you got to visit all sorts of places. I am starting to feel the same about my vision /lesigh. Hope 2019 will bring you lots of joy!

  7. Wow omg, that sounds horrific! You’d think since studying 4 years of medicine and biology, things like that wouldn’t phase me but they do 😆I’m so glad that you’re OK now, it’s never great convincing yourself that you’re gonna die because of getting something stuck in your throat – yikes!

    I’m glad that you got to explore a lot of the UK! I was the same last year 🙂 I’m glad that I got the chance to explore more of the UK but also I miss going abroad 😆 Definitely a top goal of mine this year. I know we keep saying it BUT when you’re free, let’s meet up for lunch or dinner! I’d love to see you again and catch up face to face 😀 Leeds is slowly becoming more of a home to me now too!!

  8. I am glad you’re starting to feel better, Amy. It sounds like a nightmare. I love eating and if I couldn’t eat, well, let’s just say it would resemble an episode of Criminal Minds.

    I should get glasses myself, but I hate glasses so I’m just waiting until the worst case scenario, like I go blind or I end up in the stomach of an alligator. Whatever comes first.

    And, of course, I hate you for reading over 100 books. Ugh. Why are you such a show off? =p

  9. Dang, the swallowing bit sounds awful. I hope therapy is going well and that things are better now! I’ve experienced undergoing speech therapy too, although not for the same reason. I found it a bit difficult to re-adjust after the damage in my vocal cords -_-

    OMG, I don’t think I’ve been invited to lots of weddings yet but I feel like I’m nearing that phase already. I can already see a lot of my high school classmates getting engaged or getting married and I’m just like… what am I doing with my life lol

    Ahhh I love UK! It’s so nice that you were able to explore a lot of places, it’s such a beautiful country 🙂

  10. Happy New Year, Amy!

    I always find myself writing about things that I’m going to be or do and then end up not doing it. For 2019, I’m just gonna do the thing and then write about it after (if I feel like it), lol!

    I’m so sorry about what happened with your throat! That sounds fecking awful. I actually read this post a while ago, but I’ve only gotten round to commenting now, and it prompted me to book an appointment with the doctor because I was suffering from a sore throat and trouble swallowing! Turns out I have an infection (really red tonsils and swollen glands), so I’m on phenoxymethylpenicillin now – so THANK YOU SO MUCH!

    I’m glad that you’re a lot better now and I hope you get to throw pizza in your face, now!

    Oh god, I’m at the age of weddings now. One of my friends at work is proposing to his girlfriend next month and all my other friends have been in long term relationships, so it’s only a matter of time! I love weddings but can be fecking expensive to go to depending on where they’re having the wedding.

    103 books in a year! That’s amazing. I always set my reading challenge goal on GoodReads and I never reach it. Maybe this year will be the year, lol.

    I hope 2019 is an amazing year for you <3 Hope to see you blogging more!

  11. Wow! That sounds terrifying, but I’m so glad your doctor was able to eventually find out what was going on. I had something similar happen to me and it ended up being mono. I was afraid to eat anything for a long time afterwards, but after a while I began introducing more foods into my diet again. Take your time! <3 I hope that 2019 is less challenging in terms of health and your therapy sessions continue to go well too!

    And why do weddings always make us realize we're old now? HA!! I love going to them with my husband, but nowadays less of us are getting married and more of us ARE married, haha!

  12. I honestly don’t blame you for yelling at the doctor that stuck a tube down into your throat. I can’t imagine that was comfortable, and doctors tend not to make things fun… Hopefully 2019 sees a better year for health and also pizza.

    As someone that lives in Las Vegas and started going to casinos at the ripe age of 6, it’s difficult for me to understand the idea of “casino virginity.” Nonetheless, it sounds funny.

  13. It sounds like you experienced quite some extraordinary situations in 2018. I like that you visited places in the UK and that even with that swallowing problem, you still keep your humor up and high.
    You’re cool. 😀

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