Life Catch-Up: September

I’ve spent September trying to get used to Andy working until 8, and having to get used to cooking meals by myself. Which has involved a lot of me getting distracted by the TV and burning things. A lot of things. So far, I’ve over-cooked steak, ruined pasta by leaving it on too high a temperature, and almost set off all the smoke alarms from burning mushrooms. Mushrooms. Which I actually thought were impossible to fuck up.

So yeah, it’s been an experience. An experience where I’ve had to grit my teeth and eat a steak which is so charcoal-y it could make a disposable barbecue jealous. But, at least I’ve learned a lot of things. For instance, I’ve learned that almost cutting your fingers off is very good sign that you’re cutting the potatoes wrong. I’ve learned that it’s really difficult to remember that the oven is on without another human-being to remind you. And, most importantly, I’ve learned that, by cooking, I’m endangering myself and all the poor utensils around me. I should probably just order takeaways. Forever. Or at least until someone has invented me a robot boyfriend to remind me that the oven’s on.

The good news, however, is that Andy is now home every weekend and doesn’t ever have to work until 3am again. Which means co-dependent Amy doesn’t have to shake down the stairs holding a hairbrush, in the hope that it will scare the intruder. Usually, the intruder is the water pipes or people closing their car doors, or, one time, people singing at the pub. So not actually an intruder at all. But, at least Amy (the annoying woman writing this paragraph in the third person) doesn’t have to fight imaginary intruders with a hair brush anymore.

So far, we’ve spent the majority of our weekends in the house. With the curtains closed. Because it means we can watch Gilmore Girls without glare, and also means that we can be the mysterious neighbours who never open the curtains. Like a Boo Radley situation, except we occasionally venture outside for a Domino’s and toilet paper.

We’ve had Andy’s parents round for lunch this month, and my friends came round to mess about with Snapchat filters and “pee in my cupboard”, but, other than that, not much has been happening. I work, I burn things, I watch Gilmore Girls, attempt to diet, eat a donut and go to bed.

This is my "cupboard". It's actually a downstairs toilet and, no, we're not harboring Harry Potter.
This is my “cupboard”. It’s actually a downstairs toilet and, no, we’re not harboring Harry Potter.

I am very boring for someone in her early twenties. The only notable thing I’ve done, was writing this birthday invitation to my friends:

Some bits are blanked out. Because it's a secret.

Because everyone wants to think about childbirth when being invited to a party.

Work has picked-up quite a bit, which means I get to be super-busy doing exciting things again. It also means I get to come home and sigh unnecessarily loudly about how tired I am (to my empty house). Also, coffee always tastes better when you can pretend that you NEED it in order to finish all your jobs. Plus, being busy means you can get away with shouting things like:

“This is my only sustenance, do not take it away from me!”

Fun-wise, I finally finished reading Harry Potter and the Cursed Child (which was awesome), read Holly Bourne’s latest Spinster Club novel (also awesome) and watched a lot of Gilmore Girls (because Andy needs to see it, so I can reveal important spoilers to him about characters he actually recognises). I’ve also spent an embarrassing amount of money on Pokemon cards, especially considering I’m well over the age of 10. But, when I can’t afford a mortgage, at least I’ll have a shiny Yveltal.

Pokemon cards!
Pokemon cards!

So that’s it. I’ve also been half-planning the giveaway that I promised to do on here, I just need to look up who I can legally post what to without causing an international catastrophe. So look out for that.

How has your month been?